motto: life’s a roller coaster. sometimes you have your ups and sometimes you have your downs.
And today I guess I was going way too high and managed to plummet down with a harder smack than I have ever felt for a while.
I have a tendency to always compare the goods and the bads.
We’re always sitting on the fence–sometimes with our feet dangling to one side or another.
Though we might be facing in one direction completely, there’s always a way to look behind and realize that there’s a whole another world on the other side.
There’s no right answer either.
Like in a basketball game, I don’t pause to think: “If I shoot a basketball here, then would it make it? Or would it be a wiser choice to pass to somebody else? Maybe I should just dribble in closer.”
You just can’t. It’s a spur of the moment.
And it’s just amazing how that single choice, that single moment can have such detrimental impact on my life.
I might be talking all abstract and such, but I just thought I needed to release these feelings out. So bear with me.
Self-happiness books and overall advices tend to lean towards, “help others and you’ll feel good too.”
(which reminds me of the feel-good, do-good phenomenon from AP psych lol)
But today I realized that in the real world, 90% of the time you’ll just get slapped in return.
When life gives you lemons, you might not be able to make a lemonade if the lemon is carved empty.
For the past several days, I could feel something bad was coming. But I chose to ignore it.
After the attitude change with my last post, everything was going wonderful.
Living in an optimistic POV was amazing and a great lesson learnt.
I’m not saying that now I realized how bs everything in those books are.
Nor am I resorting to my realistic/pessimistic mood and blaming the world for turning against me.
I hate to wallow in pity and whine.
I hate to act the damsel-in-distress role.
So I will stop.
I’ll probably return to optimism and this depression would go away. Probably.
(due to my serious problem of short-term memory)
But there’s just some days. Just some times when optimism doesn’t work out and I have no control over what happens.
So my brain still aches and my eyes are still red. My heart felt a blow but not one strong enough to make a permanent damage.
But I also know that if I have a fall as great as this, then there will be a rise even greater.
And I put my faith upon that belief and real hope.
Maybe someone was trying to warn me of something. Maybe today just wasn’t a right day. Maybe there’s something greater in plan for the future. Maybe this is a chance for something.
I guess I simply reached to high, to unrealistically and I got a slap of reality in return. To teach me a lesson to get back to my place.
If 90% of reality is bad, then I would like to stick with the remaining 10%.
Tomorrow’s going to come again as if nothing happened.
My body would be used to it and my mind will slowly heal.
But I just wanted to record this spur of thoughts and just jumbled up ideas.
Life’s unfair and it’s one hell of a roller coaster ride.
But with everything there’s a lesson learned.
And with every situation there is a choice: to accept it, learn it, and move on with it or to be overcome by it and never take a step forward.
It’s only when we stop our whining mouths and open our eyes to see new opportunities, new ups, and new experiences heading our way.
It’s hard to contain our biased thoughts and words running on the moment’s passion.
So we should pay attention to little details of our life. Little choices that we make. Little words we may spill.
Now I’m going to go and warp this day into a lemonade, no matter how hard it may be our unpalatable the product may turn out.